Please Forgive Me, I Said I Was Sorry
by InsanityRunsInMyBlood
Summary: 'It can never be the same, Cissa.' Bellatrix's funeral. Andromeda-centric. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


You are at her funeral. You see the black coffin…_black as her eyes_. You remember the dark, luring violet they used to be. _Used, to be._

You look at your fair sister, who was standing a few meters from you. _As fair as she was dark_, the others used to say. Indeed, the youngest of the Black sisters had silky golden hair and soft blue eyes. Then it had turned icy, hard.

_Hers turned black._

Your hazel eyes turned world-weary. You'd lost your family within a blink of your eye. Your husband, dead. Your darling daughter, dead. Your sister, dead.

_You were so happy back then._

You can't help but look _into_ the coffin. See her dead. She looked like she was simply sleeping.

_You see your Bella in her, but what good is it when she's dead?_

Her pale skin was unblemished once more. Her wild tangle of midnight curls were half-tamed, pooled around the lush, bloodred pillow that her head lay on. Her plump, ruby lips were curved up at the corners, making her look like a sleeping angel.

_If she's an angel, then you're Lucifer._

She _used_ to be an angel. A pure guardian angel who protected her younger sisters fiercely from harm.

_Where had the old Bella gone?_

Only to be replaced by the cold, sadistic, mocking _bitch_ they call Bellatrix Lestrange nowadays.

_Soon, she'll be forgotten, like their friendship, ties were all forgotten. Like __**they**__ are forgotten, abandoned as time mercilessly passed on._

You feel lost. You meet your sister's once again soft eyes, and you both realize something.

_Their Bella Black is but a mere memory in their minds now._

Nothing you do will bring her back. A pensieve will only serve to add to your pain. You have never felt so lonely.

_You want to die, to see her again._

Then you look at your younger sister, and see tears spilling onto pale cheeks.

_She feels the same._

You frown slightly.

_Then why don't you die with her? If not for anything else, but just to find your Bella again?_

You break. Your tears fall like your remaining sibling's did. Only this time, they fell on bronzed skin. You look at Cissa again.

_She has pale skin._

Pale skin. You used to have pale skin. You got a tan by working in your gardens. You always loved Herbology as a child. You worked on planting Narcissi around the house. It was a fun subject for you.

_Not as fun as Astronomy._

You think of your school days, and how _she_ would smile at you when you poured over your star charts and your endless constellations.

_Bellatrix, Andromeda, Sirius, Regulus._

You see the Narcissus flowers you placed around her grave marker. You magicked the yellow center petals to purple.

_No, to violet, the colour her eyes used to be._

You slip your hand into your pocket, and with a start, you feel a worn piece of parchment there. With a slight tremble in your hand, you pull it out.

_You made this in your third year. Oh how naïve and innocent you were back then._

As soon as you took up Astronomy, you absorbed all the information like a sponge.

_Particularly the constellation Orion, and Gamma Orionis, otherwise known as Bellatrix, the 'Amazon Star'._

You made the drawing on the parchment and charmed it.

_A calm scene._

You unfold the parchment shakily.

_A clear night._

A soft gasp tears out of your throat.

_A field of Narcissi and violets._

Cissa looks at you curiously.

_BellatrixAndromedaNarcissa_

She comes over to peer at the worn page.

_The nonexistent wind swayed the trees, grass, and flowers._

Your sister lets out a small cry.

_A star shone bright in the sky._

You grip the parchment tighter.

_A single constellation, __**your**__ constellation, sits next to the star proudly._

'Andy?'

_It represented the three of them, when they were still __**together**__._

You look at your sister.

'_You two mean the world to me. Now come here and give your big sister hugs.'_

'Yeah?'

'_I love you! You're the best sisters ever! I wouldn't have traded you guys for __**anything**__!'_

'Is everything still the same between us?'

'_Nothing will change, right? We'll always be together forever?'_

'It can never be the same, Cissa.' You say.

'_Congratulations on getting into Slytherin, Andy!'_

'Oh…' Your sister sounds so lost, as lost as you feel.

'_I knew you would be in here too, Cissa!'_

'Cissa, listen. Our Bella may only exist in memory, but she's always with us. Our loved ones never leave, for they're in _here_.' You placed a worn hand over your sisters heart. You can feel it beating steadily.

'_I don't believe it Andy! __**HIM **__over your blood sisters?'_

'I know.' Cissa says in a small voice, looking down. She looks more vulnerable than you've ever seen her.

'_I DON'T CARE! DON'T GO! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Just…don't leave us…'_

'I'm sorry.' You whisper. She raises her head, innocent confusion filling her features.

'_Please…'_

'Why?' Cissa asks.

_You've never heard her plead with __**anyone**__ before._

'Because _I_ was the one who broke us apart, Cissa.' You choke out.

_Given a choice, what would you choose? Will it be friendship, love, or family?_

'I don't understand? You?' Her voice sounds so heartbroken yet puzzled at the same time.

_It was an impossible decision for you to make._

'I left, Cissa. I left you. I left _her_.' You say.

'_I'm sorry.' You whispered, then fled._

'She became like that after I left, Cissa. Don't you see? _I_ was the one who broke her and turned her into the monster she became!' You cry, sobs hitching in your throat.

'_DON'T EVER COME BACK!'_

'No…Andy, it's not you…' Cissa says weakly. You could see the horror dawn on her face.

'_Come Cissy. We must not associate with blood-traitors like her.'_

'Do you hate me for it?' You croaked.

_It was the last thing you heard before the door slammed shut._

'Just…give me some time to think about this, please?' Cissa pleaded, eyes wide. You back away, hurt, but knowing that it's true, that she had every right to hate you now that you confess.

_You never regretted anything you ever did more than that._

'Okay.' You say almost inaudibly. The coffin hits the ground with a soft thump, and you watch Cissa flee like you did, with her son Draco, your nephew, behind her, looking confused.

'_Don't say I didn't warn you.'_

You fall onto the muddy ground on your knees.

_That was what she said when she killed your husband mercilessly, cackling all the while._

Your tears start to flow like rivers now.

'_This is the price for you betrayal! YOUR BLOODY, HURTFUL BETRAYAL!'_

You are reduced to nothing now.

_That was when the killing curse struck her Nymphadora, her daughter._

You have lost both your sisters. Sometimes you wonder if the second time hurt more than the first time.

'_TRAITOR!'_

You know that it was your fault from the very beginning.

_You watched her fall._

To the tragic end.

_I forgive you._


End file.
